Dear Friends,
My mind has been nagging me to get this letter written. I do long to share with you all that goes on here. Unfortunately, I tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to sharing my thoughts. So, getting things down on paper is sometimes harder then I think it should be.
I have wanted for some time now to share with you something from other areas of the ministry. What I do is only a small part of what goes on at Amor. Jon Wilson, one of the field staff in Tiajuana, has allowed me to share his thoughts with you. While he holds the same position as I do, I felt that what he had to say was very moving. It is a great reminder that even though we are working to bring God’s kingdom to the people of Mexico, the people of Mexico are bringing His kingdom to us.
"And More On That...
Last week I wrote about our material delivery in Puerto Peñasco. At the end of the post, I briefly alluded to the interaction with families during that part of the trip as the first time the
families are assured their hopes of receiving a home would be realized. Then I chickened out by saying I would write more on that later. Well, I guess this is later.
In the lunchroom/wharehouse area of the Amor Ministries office is a large poster of a former trip participant in the embrace of a young Mexican child. If any of you have been around this ministry, been on mission trips with us, or received mailings from us, you have seen the photo. We use it a ton. In the upper right corner of this particular poster is added one of the Amor slogans, which reads, "Hope is a cement floor. Hope is four strong walls. Hope is a roof that doesn’t leak." Altogether, it is a nice and evocative piece of advertising.
Unfortunately, I tend to be a scoffer. Not a scoffer in the extremely cynical, pessimistic, why try cuz your efforts are futile sense; but more the sarcastic, side comment to make someone laugh and shake their head at me kind of scoffer. Thus, as such scoffing goes, I would find myself standing near the poster making statements like, "If hope is four strong walls, then why
do we build seven?" or, "If hope is a cement floor, why did we go with the parquet?" or better yet, "Hope must be a cement floor, ‘cause linoleum is hopeless." Yes, I do realize none of these are as funny as they sound in my head. Nothing ever is.
Fortunately, my scoffings with regard to the poster have recently been laid aside. The two weeks we were in Peñasco did it for me. It started during material delivery and continued through the completion of the projects. For the first time in four years I allowed myself to see the physical change in people who are being blessed. When the trucks rolled up in front of
the families and the first boards were taken down and placed in neat stacks on the ground in front of them, I could actually see people lifted from the inside-out. Behind tears I saw a spark. In sighs of relief I heard prayers of thanksgiving. We hadn’t even started yet.
As the week rolled by and groups arrived and began construction, the changes were magnified and multiplied. One mother walked slowly around with a sad downcast face that all too well displayed the hardships of her life. When the group arrived to begin construction, one woman participant immediately noticed the pain in her face, approached her and gave her a big hug. By the last day, she could do nothing but smile and laugh. There was a quickness in her step that had not been there a few days before. She would readily jump in to help in the building of her new house. A softness began to show on her face. And there was something in her eyes....dare I say it was hope?
I don’t think the actual definition of hope is anything as tangible as cement floors, strong walls, and a roof that doesn’t leak. And I’m not going to look it up. I do think however (and by think I mean KNOW), that a mother who can sweep her floor and find something under the sand (besides more sand), who doesn’t have to worry if her house will collapse in a strong wind, who knows her children will be dry in the next rainstorm, she can think about something else
for a change.... maybe even the future." - Jon Wilson
Sometimes it is easy to forget what we are doing. I often find myself pondering the questions I am so frequently asked about Amor. In general, most ask about the evangelical value of our ministry. (In other words they feel we need to preach not build). I admit there are days that I wonder if I am making a difference. Are people really getting to see Jesus? Those days are generally days that I forget to take the time to look into the eyes of those whom we serve. It is in those eyes that I see the answer. If when we feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and quench the thirsty, we do these things to Jesus himself, so if we build a home are we not building a home for Him? It is a powerful ministry when people come together to build the hope Jon speaks of. I stand ashamed of the days I doubt that power. Puerto Peñasco was a great time of affirmation to me as well, because not only are those we build for affected, but also sometimes people who have little connection with the ministry itself.
Kevin King and his wife Nona were members of our small group bible study, before we left for El Paso, TX. He and the other members of our group watched as Jackie and I changed following our first mission trip. He got a first hand view of the struggle we went through following our second mission trip when we became aware of God calling. (Was this something we really wanted to do?) That was the point in my life that I finally stopped fighting with God and told him that what ever he asked, I would do. You would think that is where the struggle ends. Fortunately, it was not. I had no Idea what I was doing or getting myself into. I went about things backwards, first talking with ministries (and deciding for Amor) and then going to the church. (Not at all a good Idea)
So there I go into the church, expecting them to send me because I was so set on serving God. The church was kind, but not knowing me, they didn’t really respond as soon as would have hoped. Adding to that Amor had a new human resource person who was handling my entrance, and communication broke down between the three parties. I am positive now that my part should have been much larger but at the time I did not see it.
I was set to begin in El Paso by January so that I could be trained for the spring. So acting on faith, knowing I did not have the support I needed, I quit my job and came to find a place to live In El Paso. It was there I learn that both the church and Amor had some serious reservations about me coming when I did. Amor had failed to tell me that I was required to raise a certain percent of support before coming. And the church told Amor about their reservations of not really knowing me, but this also failed to reach me until I had already quit my job and started looking for a place to live. Talk about panic setting in. (God is this not what you asked me to do or was it all my idea?)
I came home to talk with the church and we agreed to wait six months before coming. So, left without a job or a place to live we tried to settle back in. It took a while but God took care of us getting me two jobs to cover our expenses and an understanding landlord who allowed us to stay past our lease. All the while our small group stood by and watched and prayed for us. Obviously, we did arrive in El Paso, and the experience proved to be a great faith builder for me. But, unknown to me was how it affected Kevin. I recently found out in Puerto Peñasco.
I was surprised to see him there walking across the sandy bit of cleared desert we call camp. He almost passed me by, but I was not about to let that happen. He had come on the trip to take photos for the church. The whole trip would have been worth it just seeing that one person. Although, I was blessed to see more then a few familiar faces, and what Kevin shared with me made any struggle I went though getting here worth every minute.
He told me that when we made our decision to become missionaries that he remembers telling his wife that he would never do what we were doing. The idea of going to a foreign country to sweat away at building houses for anyone was something he feared God might ask of him, and he was not about to agree to that. But he lost a secure job, and went in on a business venture with an unreliable partner that never left the ground. He was sinking deeper and deeper, and could feel the pressure mounting. He told me that he wanted to turn it over to God, but he just could not bring himself to do it, because of that fear of God asking something of him that he did not want to do. But through watching our struggle God worked on his heart and he was able to finally break down and surrender his will to God, and ask God what He wanted from him.
Since then God has awaked a desire in him to work in photography and given him a booming wedding photography business. God has placed him in numerous positions to share his story with others, and he just wanted to take the time to thank me for my faith. I am so thankful that anything I went through could help another. I had no idea that God used me then. (It is amazing to me that I did not ruin the witness considering all the frustration I felt.) Four years have past now and knowing what I now know, I could not be more thankful for that time of struggle and frustration.
