Tuesday, September 04, 2007

A Heartbreaking Separation

I have been putting off writing this for quite some time now. I know I need to let you know what has been going on, but it is just so much easier to write about the good that happens rather than the hardships. Besides it was better to keep quite for awhile to avoid making things worse for all involved.

As you may recall About 2 years ago Jackie took a job with the church we had been attending. She started working in the office of the school they run. Being in the position she was she saw quite a lot that was not being handled in ways she thought they should, especially for a Christian ministry. One of the things we have come to admire about Amor Ministries is their desire to do ministries above reproach. It is not something that seemed to be of the utmost importance to the school.

At first I thought that it was just an adjustment that Jackie had to get used. Most of us put people in ministry on a level above ourselves and expect that they have it all figured out and under control. When in reality we don’t we have just given ourselves to God to be used by him despite our shortcomings. In this way, we know when good is done through us it is only God who deserves the credit and praise. At first I thought that Jackie was adjusting this realization. To my shame I was wrong and I ended up hurting my wife with my words. To her it seemed that I did not believe her. I did believe but looking back I can see how my words led her to that conclusion.

About a year after she started working at the school Jackie had determined that she would not just sit back and allow things to continue without opposition. So she spoke her mind freely about the things that she felt were wrong. This led to many nights coming home crying about the way she was being treated. They honestly got mean. She was accused of gossiping and trying to bring down the church. Now, Jackie is a talker she and others in the school that saw what was really happening talked about it but they spoke the truth. Jackie was the only one that spoke up about it to the director. At which point she was called a witch. They used scripture to try and validate the point.
1 Samuel 15:23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.
They said that because she was rebelling against them that she was like a witch. I could not allow this and confronted the church. Her rebellion was against the acts she witness that were wrong, not against God as the scripture indicated. Over the next year we fought together to bring reconciliation to ourselves and the church leaders and tried to point out that work needed to be done to restore the church to what it should be. But all our efforts were met with what appeared to us as indifference. They just did not care. I eventually started telling Jackie that it was time to leave but she stayed because she felt that God had put her there for this reason. It was about this time we found a new church to worship at.

About a month ago Jackie was put on suspension. They sighted complaints from parents that she spoke down of the school as the reason. We were informed later by friends in the church that this was not the case. Instead it came from a letter that was written to the church asking questions about what was going on based on a conversation that took place with Jackie and another former member of the church about why we no longer attended the church. Jackie was told that if she chose to return she would have to change her attitude. We took this to mean Shut up or get out. Jackie finally had enough and decided not to return.

I am writing this to you so you know what has been going on over the last couple of years so if I bring it up in the future you won’t be completely lost. There are some of you on my mailing list that still attend the church. I want you to know that while we have been accused of trying to tear the church down, we really only wanted to build it up. If I don’t address the problems in my own life then I don’t grow. I believe the same is true for the church. We wish the church well and we continue to pray for it. I admit it has been really hard to love the people we were at odds with for so long, but by Gods grace we do still love them. Unfortunately the reports we here from friends are not encouraging. It looks as though it will all be swept under the rug. I pray that God will straighten it all out. There are far too many good sisters and brothers still there to wish ill on the church. For their sake I pray for a great revival in the church.

For now we have found a wonderful church to attend here in El Paso. Jackie is still searching for work and things have gotten really tight financially speaking. But I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of our family. I know God will provide for our needs. So I just have to keep trusting that he has our best interest in mind.