In November I went to Puerto Peñasco a.k.a. Rocky Point. Since then I have been turning over and over in my head just how I wanted to share the experience with you. There were so many things that happened and some that were hard to handle that I am still not sure if I can truly relate how I feel about it.
Since I started working with Amor Ministries, I have found that more and more I am increasingly becoming attached to the groups I work with. You see, God has placed a burden on my heart to care for my groups. Not only to care for them but to take care of them, to provide all that I can to help them make their trip successful. Admittedly there are times that I fail to live up to that calling, and other times things arise that are just out of my control. Puerto Peñasco provided plenty of circumstances that I had no control over. It left me feeling helpless.
I remember when my daughter was born the doctor used some sort of suction cup on her head to assist in removing her from her mother. I watched in horror as it deformed her head to the shape of the cup. I really wanted to hit the doctor for doing that to my baby, but I knew he had done this many times before and logic told me it was going to be alright. Even so, I could not help the overprotective feeling that was raging inside, yet my not being a doctor left me in a position to do nothing. Puerto Peñasco brought that same feeling about my groups because there was nothing I could do but pray.
One of the joys I bring away from going to Puerto Peñasco is the fact that I get to work with Central Christian Church my home church in Mesa, AZ. This year I also worked with St. Simon and Jude and American Evangelical Lutheran. I enjoy the fellowship with each of these groups and hope to see them return.
Unfortunately each of these groups had and accident on their trip. St. Simon and Jude’s accident turned out to be a minor cut from a board falling on the head of one of their students and they were able to return to the project. But Central and American Lutheran’s were major accidents.
Central had a man fall from the roof resulting in serious head and back injuries. Last I heard he was still in the hospital starting rehabilitation. American Lutheran had a major traffic accident with a dump truck on their way out of camp as they headed for home. It appeared that no one had major injuries but one man was taken to the United States to be checked for a concussion. I still have heard nothing further about him.
Needless to say it was a long hard trip, when I turned to God, I felt like I was watching that doctor again wondering what the heck he was doing, but knowing he knows best. I painfully praised God because I know he works all thing together for the good of those who love Him. I certainly love Him, and I am sure these groups love Him also. So, my only conclusion is that it has to work for good somewhere down the road.
When I finally returned home I let myself grieve over the pain my groups felt and the pain of helplessness that I felt. I sat in my truck listening to the words of this song and finally broke down and wept;
No Doubt by Petra
There are times when you feel like you can't go on
There are times when you feel like giving in
And there are times when you feel like you can't try anymore
There are times of trouble in believing
This test of your faith will last
As long as it takes to pass
Till you have no more doubt you'll endure
And your faith will emerge true and pure
There's a time to take a reckless leap of faith
There's a time to be cautious and to wait
And there's a way of learning from the past
That this time of trouble won't last
And sometimes we want to think we know
The ways He will choose to make us grow
But it's never the way of our choosing
And we can't always see what He's using
There will be winters in the seasons of our soul
With a cold and bitter wind that chills our lives
But our faith can be building a fire
That will warm us till springtime arrives
No doubt it'll be alright
With God it'll work together for good
No doubt in the end it will be understood
No doubt it'll all work out
With faith He can move any mountain for us
No doubt in the power of Jesus
And after all is done we find out
All we really need to have is no doubt
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
The Forgotten Heart
I knew I was going to miss something. And now I am going to sound like a horrible son-in-law. I had my mind so set on ministry related items that I completely forgot that I have not in formed you of my mother-in-laws surgery.
Before we came to El Paso about 5 or 6 years ago she had a heart attack. The doctors put some stints in. This past August she was supposed to go in and have a few more stints put in but while at the hospitals the doctors discovered that the damage was far worse than originally thought. They kept her there to do a bypass procedure. It ended up being five arteries that they were able to bypass. The surgery went well and the healing has been going well also. It was however, a very stressful time for all of us, but it seems that everyone is pulling through fine. She has been going to cardio rehab (which is about an hour of exercise three times a week), and she is doing very well.
There has been some benefit for me as well, the change in diet and the walking I do while waiting for her to finish the rehab is causing me to lose some weight, so far about 9 pounds.
Before we came to El Paso about 5 or 6 years ago she had a heart attack. The doctors put some stints in. This past August she was supposed to go in and have a few more stints put in but while at the hospitals the doctors discovered that the damage was far worse than originally thought. They kept her there to do a bypass procedure. It ended up being five arteries that they were able to bypass. The surgery went well and the healing has been going well also. It was however, a very stressful time for all of us, but it seems that everyone is pulling through fine. She has been going to cardio rehab (which is about an hour of exercise three times a week), and she is doing very well.
There has been some benefit for me as well, the change in diet and the walking I do while waiting for her to finish the rehab is causing me to lose some weight, so far about 9 pounds.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
overdue update
All my life I have always been the type of person that thinks about what I am going to say before I say it. I suppose that is a good habit. It certainly has kept me from putting my foot in my mouth form time to time (of course there are still times that my mental filters don’t work). But, I find that it can also hinder my ability to hold good conversations. There have been countless conversations that have passed me by because I was reviewing my response to a certain topic only to find that the conversation had moved on to something entirely different. Writing to you has been a wonderfully different experience. I am completely in control of the conversation and can take all the time I feel necessary to find the right words to communicate my thoughts. Until now that has suited me quite well. Since the end of summer I have been processing my thoughts in order to fill you in on all that has transpired since my last correspondence, only to have something else come along which changed the whole thought process of what I wanted to be the topic of this letter. Needless to say there are many things that I need to share and I scarcely know where to begin. So, I have finally decided that I had better just sit down a write. (at least I can edit it later if I don’t like how it comes out)
As you read in my last letter Juarez and El Paso got hit with more then a fair amount of rain which caused flooding in both cities. I don’t have the numbers for Juarez but 325 families are being forced to rebuild their homes or relocate in El Paso alone (that does not include businesses). Given the conditions I see every day in Juarez, I have to believe the numbers are higher there. We at Amor have been collecting household items and clothing in an effort to help families rebuild. We are also starting a special push for next year hoping to bring extra groups to help rebuild Juarez.
You may remember that we have been without a field manager in El Paso/Juarez for quite some time now. That position has been offered to me and I have accepted it. I was unsure if the position was right for me, but so many people asked me why I didn’t take it, that I began to wonder if it may be God prompting me to take the position. So I told Amor that I was interested in the position but only if everyone agreed I was the right person for the job. Well I suppose they felt I was right because here I am. I am still a bit nervous about it though. Over the passed year God has really impressed upon me that I am exactly where he wants me, and I could see the gifts he gave to me working so well in my former position. Taking on this new position has caused me to question if my gifts fit it well or not. I know that God is constantly refining me and He certainly has the ability to give new gifts to fit my situation. But, it has been my experience that he makes me grow through trials, and while I am willing to face the trails that are in store, I have to admit the uncertainty of what might come my way scares me. I don’t want to fail him. And looking back at my history, I would have to believe that I will fail at some point. My hope is that I don’t let one failure defeat me.
This may sound a bit redundant but with my acceptance of the field manager position, my former field specialist position is now open. I am sure that God will provide the correct person for the position. But, it can’t hurt to have your petitions for just such an outcome as well.
This month we were informed that the gentleman who we rent our campground from is trying to sell and has apparently found a buyer. That would mean that we would need to find new property to use as a campground. We still have not received any written notification of the pending sell. So we are not sure what it all means just yet, but if you would please keep this issue in prayer it would be very much appreciated. It has our staff here a little worried (none more then our camp caretaker who lives at camp). I know God will work it all out for the good but I am not looking forward to moving.
We recently started a bible study that has been such a blessing to us here in El Paso/Juarez. It is something that was supposed happen every fall but it was never something we did together. Over the past month or two the Mexican staff and I have been meeting to study scripture, and share our struggles, concerns, needs and observations. God has been working in a mighty way to bind us together not just as coworkers but as brothers. I pray that we use what we are learning to become better servants to God, the groups we work with, the families we build for, our pastor’s board and all people.
Well those are the major items that I wanted to share, I am sure I’ve left something out. Just know that with all that has been going on I have not stopped thinking about you. Your support, whether financial or spiritual, sustains me. It would be extremely difficult to continue without you.
As you read in my last letter Juarez and El Paso got hit with more then a fair amount of rain which caused flooding in both cities. I don’t have the numbers for Juarez but 325 families are being forced to rebuild their homes or relocate in El Paso alone (that does not include businesses). Given the conditions I see every day in Juarez, I have to believe the numbers are higher there. We at Amor have been collecting household items and clothing in an effort to help families rebuild. We are also starting a special push for next year hoping to bring extra groups to help rebuild Juarez.
You may remember that we have been without a field manager in El Paso/Juarez for quite some time now. That position has been offered to me and I have accepted it. I was unsure if the position was right for me, but so many people asked me why I didn’t take it, that I began to wonder if it may be God prompting me to take the position. So I told Amor that I was interested in the position but only if everyone agreed I was the right person for the job. Well I suppose they felt I was right because here I am. I am still a bit nervous about it though. Over the passed year God has really impressed upon me that I am exactly where he wants me, and I could see the gifts he gave to me working so well in my former position. Taking on this new position has caused me to question if my gifts fit it well or not. I know that God is constantly refining me and He certainly has the ability to give new gifts to fit my situation. But, it has been my experience that he makes me grow through trials, and while I am willing to face the trails that are in store, I have to admit the uncertainty of what might come my way scares me. I don’t want to fail him. And looking back at my history, I would have to believe that I will fail at some point. My hope is that I don’t let one failure defeat me.
This may sound a bit redundant but with my acceptance of the field manager position, my former field specialist position is now open. I am sure that God will provide the correct person for the position. But, it can’t hurt to have your petitions for just such an outcome as well.
This month we were informed that the gentleman who we rent our campground from is trying to sell and has apparently found a buyer. That would mean that we would need to find new property to use as a campground. We still have not received any written notification of the pending sell. So we are not sure what it all means just yet, but if you would please keep this issue in prayer it would be very much appreciated. It has our staff here a little worried (none more then our camp caretaker who lives at camp). I know God will work it all out for the good but I am not looking forward to moving.
We recently started a bible study that has been such a blessing to us here in El Paso/Juarez. It is something that was supposed happen every fall but it was never something we did together. Over the past month or two the Mexican staff and I have been meeting to study scripture, and share our struggles, concerns, needs and observations. God has been working in a mighty way to bind us together not just as coworkers but as brothers. I pray that we use what we are learning to become better servants to God, the groups we work with, the families we build for, our pastor’s board and all people.
Well those are the major items that I wanted to share, I am sure I’ve left something out. Just know that with all that has been going on I have not stopped thinking about you. Your support, whether financial or spiritual, sustains me. It would be extremely difficult to continue without you.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Soggy Desert
It may have been a slow summer for us with regards to the number of groups we have come to build homes. But the last month has been anything but uneventful. Rain has been causing trouble all month with the worst of it coming in the last week or so.
At the beginning of the month there was a rainstorm that over flowed the dam of one of the water reservoirs in Juarez causing flooding that killed six people. For the last week and a half there has been so much water dumped on El Paso and Juarez that reservoirs are overflowing all over the place. Another person was found dead in the rushing waters, and a least two more died in flood related traffic accidents.
There were a few days that we were worried one of the dams would break altogether sending some 600 million gallons of water through two miles of housing before it would reach the Rio Grande. Crews worked for three days straight to empty that reservoir, and they succeeded. (To the relief of both residents in Juarez and El Paso because there was a fear that it would rush over the levies of the river and pour into down town El Paso.) At one point during all the rain the river came very close to topping the levies and pouring out into both cities
This being the desert, the two cities are not prepared to handle the kind of water that we have been seeing, and rightly so. The 30-year average rainfall is slightly over nine inches and some places around the city have seen up to five inches in less then a day. The damage has been substantial to say the least. I am surprised more lives have not been lost.
Although the rain is letting up some, we are not completely out of danger yet. The ground is completely saturated, leaving nowhere for water to go should we get more rain. Unfortunately there is more rain in the forecast.
Below are some picture I took of the damage.
At the beginning of the month there was a rainstorm that over flowed the dam of one of the water reservoirs in Juarez causing flooding that killed six people. For the last week and a half there has been so much water dumped on El Paso and Juarez that reservoirs are overflowing all over the place. Another person was found dead in the rushing waters, and a least two more died in flood related traffic accidents.
There were a few days that we were worried one of the dams would break altogether sending some 600 million gallons of water through two miles of housing before it would reach the Rio Grande. Crews worked for three days straight to empty that reservoir, and they succeeded. (To the relief of both residents in Juarez and El Paso because there was a fear that it would rush over the levies of the river and pour into down town El Paso.) At one point during all the rain the river came very close to topping the levies and pouring out into both cities
This being the desert, the two cities are not prepared to handle the kind of water that we have been seeing, and rightly so. The 30-year average rainfall is slightly over nine inches and some places around the city have seen up to five inches in less then a day. The damage has been substantial to say the least. I am surprised more lives have not been lost.
Although the rain is letting up some, we are not completely out of danger yet. The ground is completely saturated, leaving nowhere for water to go should we get more rain. Unfortunately there is more rain in the forecast.
Below are some picture I took of the damage.
this is the reservoir that we were worried about
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
We purchased our first home
As some of you now know (and many of you don't) we just bought our first home. we really did not think it would happen but everything went so smoothly. It was clear that Gods hand was on this purchase.
We are so excited and want to share some photos with you. I'll put up more later becuase some of the pics I took really did not come out so good, but here are a few to give you a feel of the house.
We are so excited and want to share some photos with you. I'll put up more later becuase some of the pics I took really did not come out so good, but here are a few to give you a feel of the house.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Support
If you would like to support us in this ministry please send payments to:
Amor ministries
1664 precision Park Lane
San Diego, CA 92173
Please write MWIL on checks or money orders if you would like your donation to go towards my financial support.
Thank you for making your tax-deductible donation today. Contributions are solicited with the understanding that Amor Ministries has discretion and control over the use of all donated funds.
Amor ministries
1664 precision Park Lane
San Diego, CA 92173
Please write MWIL on checks or money orders if you would like your donation to go towards my financial support.
Thank you for making your tax-deductible donation today. Contributions are solicited with the understanding that Amor Ministries has discretion and control over the use of all donated funds.
A Weary Heart Renewed
I never realized that there would be times as a servant of God that I would become weary. Times that I would doubt Gods power or even his existence. But I have found it to be true. There are times when I grow weary and wonder if I will have the strength to finish this race. There are times that I wonder if I should stumble again will I have the strength to get back up and move steadily toward the goal. There are times that I wonder if I will make it to the awaiting arms of my heavenly father.
Those times are daunting. They drain the energy form me. Unfortunately these are times that I have stopped relying on Gods strength to sustain me and tried to hold myself up by my own strength. Over the last couple of months this is what I have been going through. This is not how God made me. He made me weak so that through Him I could be made strong. He made me to be dependent on him.
Fortunately God’s grace has a way of renewing me and bringing me back into His strength and support. He always sheds His light on my path and shows me the way home. He reminds me who he is. About a week ago I got a reminder.
A group from my home church in Mesa, AZ came out to build a home and to encourage Jackie, the kids and me. It was wonderful to have them here and to work so closely with them.
While they were here we attended a church service in Juarez. And it was so apparent that God had planned the day. When we arrived at the church they that asked if any of us would like to speak, and two of us got up and gave testimonies of how God had changed our lives and showed us the love of Jesus. It was an emotional time for me. My heart was starting to soften and I could see that I was the one causing my doubts and struggles. And that is just were God wanted me for the remainder of the service. You see they had a guest speaker that day and he gave his testimony, and it was a powerful reminder of Gods ability to work miracles in the hearts of men. I don’t think my eyes were dry at any time during the rest of the service.
“Six years ago my appearance was very different” he began, and went on to tell that six years prior he dressed like a woman. He had the body of a woman. He had breast of a woman. He filled his body with female hormones. And for twenty years he lived the life of a homosexual transvestite. People in the communities would see going with men and called him crazy.
But one woman looked past his appearance and saw his heart. She told him of Jesus’ love for him and that he had to change. He told her that he was happy the way he was and she should leave him alone. But she wouldn’t, she told him he could not be happy the way he was living because that is not how God made him. She told him how he felt in his heart and he wondered how she could know exactly how he felt. God used her to bring him to faith in God.
Jesus can do all things. People told him no women would want him, but God gave him a wife. The doctors told him that you are born a homosexual and you cannot change, but God changed his desires. The doctors told him the hormones had ruin any chance of him having children, but God gave him two kids.
With tears running down my face I remembered Gods power. I love this king of kings
And I will serve him until I die, and hopefully into eternity. I make mistakes and I lose sight, but my trust will remain in the Lord. I see his power way too much to deny him his just praise.
At the end of the service God blessed each one of us through the people of that church. They laid hand on us and prayed for us. It is something I really can’t put into words, but a peace came over me. The only way to describe it is the peace that passes understanding. It is a knowledge that you have been forgiven and you owe nothing for it. It spawns a love in my heart that I want everyone to know, but there is only one source and the source is God the Father.
Those times are daunting. They drain the energy form me. Unfortunately these are times that I have stopped relying on Gods strength to sustain me and tried to hold myself up by my own strength. Over the last couple of months this is what I have been going through. This is not how God made me. He made me weak so that through Him I could be made strong. He made me to be dependent on him.
Fortunately God’s grace has a way of renewing me and bringing me back into His strength and support. He always sheds His light on my path and shows me the way home. He reminds me who he is. About a week ago I got a reminder.
A group from my home church in Mesa, AZ came out to build a home and to encourage Jackie, the kids and me. It was wonderful to have them here and to work so closely with them.
While they were here we attended a church service in Juarez. And it was so apparent that God had planned the day. When we arrived at the church they that asked if any of us would like to speak, and two of us got up and gave testimonies of how God had changed our lives and showed us the love of Jesus. It was an emotional time for me. My heart was starting to soften and I could see that I was the one causing my doubts and struggles. And that is just were God wanted me for the remainder of the service. You see they had a guest speaker that day and he gave his testimony, and it was a powerful reminder of Gods ability to work miracles in the hearts of men. I don’t think my eyes were dry at any time during the rest of the service.
“Six years ago my appearance was very different” he began, and went on to tell that six years prior he dressed like a woman. He had the body of a woman. He had breast of a woman. He filled his body with female hormones. And for twenty years he lived the life of a homosexual transvestite. People in the communities would see going with men and called him crazy.
But one woman looked past his appearance and saw his heart. She told him of Jesus’ love for him and that he had to change. He told her that he was happy the way he was and she should leave him alone. But she wouldn’t, she told him he could not be happy the way he was living because that is not how God made him. She told him how he felt in his heart and he wondered how she could know exactly how he felt. God used her to bring him to faith in God.
Jesus can do all things. People told him no women would want him, but God gave him a wife. The doctors told him that you are born a homosexual and you cannot change, but God changed his desires. The doctors told him the hormones had ruin any chance of him having children, but God gave him two kids.
With tears running down my face I remembered Gods power. I love this king of kings
And I will serve him until I die, and hopefully into eternity. I make mistakes and I lose sight, but my trust will remain in the Lord. I see his power way too much to deny him his just praise.
At the end of the service God blessed each one of us through the people of that church. They laid hand on us and prayed for us. It is something I really can’t put into words, but a peace came over me. The only way to describe it is the peace that passes understanding. It is a knowledge that you have been forgiven and you owe nothing for it. It spawns a love in my heart that I want everyone to know, but there is only one source and the source is God the Father.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Beautiful Sorrow
Every year we have volunteers come down to help us with our workload through project Barnabus. These people are a huge blessing to us, and since I started working here there has been one that comes every year once in the spring and once in the summer. His name is Keith Bird. I would like to relay to you an experience God blessed him with while here.
Keith loves to work with brand new groups. He delights in being able to share the knowledge he has learned over the years, and most groups are delighted to have such help. This year the Sigma Phi lambda Sorority from Waco, Texas came to build a home and he was fortunate enough to be assigned to this group.
The group worked the first day on the foundation and a few walls. That night mother of the woman of the house passed away.
As Keith and his group returned the next day they learned of the occurrence, and were unsure of how to proceed. I had never had anything like this happen before either, so they decided to finish the construction of the walls away from the site and stand walls the following day.
Somewhere in the course of the day Keith thought that it might be nice to have a Spanish-speaking pastor visit with the family and allow the group to show their concern for the family. As it so happened there was just such a pastor in another group the he was assigned to.
The family had cleared a room in their small pallet shack and the brand new shiny coffin seemed so out of place in that small run down room. They left the coffin open and explained to the group that she so wanted to see the new house and so the coffin stayed open. The pastor came and related the condolences of the group to the family. He gave a small service and sang some songs and played his guitar.
As Keith told me this story he choked back the tears as he recounted how beautiful the service was. He told me that one gentleman in the family accepted Christ as his savior. I was also fighting back the tears just hearing the story.
The family was gone, busy with all the arraignments and burial, the rest of the time their new home was being constructed. It was so wonderful to see the extra care that went into this house. There was not big presentation to the family. The group left quietly leaving the keys with the neighbor. But in my heart I know the family can see how much the group cared for them. It showed in their work.
Keith told me it was the most beautiful thing he had seen in the five years he has been coming to serve. I am so blessed to know these people.
Thank you God.
Keith loves to work with brand new groups. He delights in being able to share the knowledge he has learned over the years, and most groups are delighted to have such help. This year the Sigma Phi lambda Sorority from Waco, Texas came to build a home and he was fortunate enough to be assigned to this group.
The group worked the first day on the foundation and a few walls. That night mother of the woman of the house passed away.
As Keith and his group returned the next day they learned of the occurrence, and were unsure of how to proceed. I had never had anything like this happen before either, so they decided to finish the construction of the walls away from the site and stand walls the following day.
Somewhere in the course of the day Keith thought that it might be nice to have a Spanish-speaking pastor visit with the family and allow the group to show their concern for the family. As it so happened there was just such a pastor in another group the he was assigned to.
The family had cleared a room in their small pallet shack and the brand new shiny coffin seemed so out of place in that small run down room. They left the coffin open and explained to the group that she so wanted to see the new house and so the coffin stayed open. The pastor came and related the condolences of the group to the family. He gave a small service and sang some songs and played his guitar.
As Keith told me this story he choked back the tears as he recounted how beautiful the service was. He told me that one gentleman in the family accepted Christ as his savior. I was also fighting back the tears just hearing the story.
The family was gone, busy with all the arraignments and burial, the rest of the time their new home was being constructed. It was so wonderful to see the extra care that went into this house. There was not big presentation to the family. The group left quietly leaving the keys with the neighbor. But in my heart I know the family can see how much the group cared for them. It showed in their work.
Keith told me it was the most beautiful thing he had seen in the five years he has been coming to serve. I am so blessed to know these people.
Thank you God.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
The Impact of One
So far this spring I have been privileged to see about 1000 group participants come to Juarez to build 44 houses in the course of two weeks. As I sit here and really think about what it means I am struck by the huge numbers of people that are affected by an act of love in Jesus name.
If you consider that most families we build for are 4 to 6 members in size. 220 Mexican family members in the last two weeks that have been directly touched by Gods love in Juarez alone. Those that serve are also affected, bringing the numbers to 1220, and that does not even scratch the surface of the potential numbers of people who could receive a blessing from this simple act of love and service. Family, friends, neighbors, of both participants and Mexican families could be indirectly affected. Who really knows what that number could be save God himself?
I want share with you a story of how one young man (Brent) has changed the lives of his entire family and had a huge impact on his church and the work they do on mission trips. Brent was finishing high school and preparing to go to college. He had been saving his money to buy a computer to help him with his studies while at college. His mom (Lori) told me that this computer was his life at that time. You just couldn’t get him to stop talking about it.
At the same time his mom was planning the churches first Mexico mission trip for the youth group. She told Brent that she thought she was going to have to cancel the trip because they did not have enough people signing up.
Brent said to his mom, “ You know if I sign up for the trip more people will go.”
Lori said, “ I know.”
“So, do you want me to sign up?” He asked
She replied, “ That is a decision you have to make for yourself.
The next morning Brent told his mom that he was going to sign up for the trip. They had a small group of fourteen people come to Juarez to build their first home. Lori told me that Brent complained most of the time he was here. He would tell her he was hot, tired and just wanted to go home because he had to get ready for school. But one night right before they finished I was asked to stop by their campfire. I did, and while I was there I answered many questions about Amor and the work we do. But, somewhere along the way I was asked how much the house cost to build, and when I answered unknown to me, Brent was amazed. He later told he mom that the amount I said was the amount he spent on his computer. To him all the important things before his trip were no longer important. He just saw a family receive a home and everything else melted away.
Brent died in a car accident on his way to college that summer.
His mom and his family are grateful that Brent came to Juarez and that God changed his heart before he took him home. The church has since more then double the numbers of people they bring on their Mexico mission trips. They may have never come to Juarez if he had not signed up for that trip. He may have never seen God I such close way if he had not decided to come.
If you consider that most families we build for are 4 to 6 members in size. 220 Mexican family members in the last two weeks that have been directly touched by Gods love in Juarez alone. Those that serve are also affected, bringing the numbers to 1220, and that does not even scratch the surface of the potential numbers of people who could receive a blessing from this simple act of love and service. Family, friends, neighbors, of both participants and Mexican families could be indirectly affected. Who really knows what that number could be save God himself?
I want share with you a story of how one young man (Brent) has changed the lives of his entire family and had a huge impact on his church and the work they do on mission trips. Brent was finishing high school and preparing to go to college. He had been saving his money to buy a computer to help him with his studies while at college. His mom (Lori) told me that this computer was his life at that time. You just couldn’t get him to stop talking about it.
At the same time his mom was planning the churches first Mexico mission trip for the youth group. She told Brent that she thought she was going to have to cancel the trip because they did not have enough people signing up.
Brent said to his mom, “ You know if I sign up for the trip more people will go.”
Lori said, “ I know.”
“So, do you want me to sign up?” He asked
She replied, “ That is a decision you have to make for yourself.
The next morning Brent told his mom that he was going to sign up for the trip. They had a small group of fourteen people come to Juarez to build their first home. Lori told me that Brent complained most of the time he was here. He would tell her he was hot, tired and just wanted to go home because he had to get ready for school. But one night right before they finished I was asked to stop by their campfire. I did, and while I was there I answered many questions about Amor and the work we do. But, somewhere along the way I was asked how much the house cost to build, and when I answered unknown to me, Brent was amazed. He later told he mom that the amount I said was the amount he spent on his computer. To him all the important things before his trip were no longer important. He just saw a family receive a home and everything else melted away.
Brent died in a car accident on his way to college that summer.
His mom and his family are grateful that Brent came to Juarez and that God changed his heart before he took him home. The church has since more then double the numbers of people they bring on their Mexico mission trips. They may have never come to Juarez if he had not signed up for that trip. He may have never seen God I such close way if he had not decided to come.
Monday, January 16, 2006
when it comes time to say good-bye
After three and a half years I still get a lump in my throat when it comes time to say good-bye.
It is amazing the to see the strength of the emotional attachment that can take place in two, three, and four-day work tips. The boy above played and worked with the group from Anderson Indiana for three days. Now the work is done and it is time to leave. The joy that was there not fifteen minute before has been replaced by pain. The pain of knowing he may never see this girl again.
My heart aches at moments like this, and yet I find tremendous joy in knowing that the work we do here has such an impact on everyone involved. It is not something easily explained, but if you ever get to experience it will take your breath away.
God your power still amazes me.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Is the tank empty yet? ...
God is amazing to me. You would think by now I would know that his power is beyond all of my imagination. And yet I continue to be completely blown away by his provision.
Jackie and I had planned to take the family to Arizona for Christmas this year. We knew it would be tight Financially but we were just going to trust that God would provide for our needs.
The day before we were going to leave my Grandmother passed away. She had cancer and we were expecting that it could happen, but I have to say that I really expected her to be around longer.
With the funeral and Christmas so close together, I knew my mom would have a lot on her mind and a ton of work needing to be done. So, I decided to extend our stay so we could help out.
We had a total of $100.00 to make the trip happen. I truly expected God to come through for us, but not the way he did. Most times God provides for us through some generous individual that gives us an unexpected gift. That was not the case when we left our home in El Paso, Texas. We still only had $100.00 to get to Arizona and back.
I planned to drive slow and try to get as good of gas mileage as I could. I had done it before but never quite made the whole trip on one tank. We budgeted ten dollars for the five of us to eat dinner on during the trip. Which meant we were going eat off the dollar menu at McDonald's. We stopped in Deming, New Mexico for dinner. Jackie ordered our meal and the rest of us made use of the restrooms. When I got to the counter the person taking our order told us that the card reader was not working. We had no cash, so we told them we would have to go somewhere else. While we were waiting for everyone to get out of the restroom the manager told us that she was going to fill our order and that we did not need to pay for it. She gave us our order and said Merry Christmas. Jackie and I knew it was God. We thanked her and got back on the road.
I was hoping we would get passed Lordsburg, New Mexico before the gas gauge dropped below half a tank. To my amazement we made it just out side of Safford, Arizona before the needle finally dropped under the half tank mark. I was amazed and started monitoring the gas mileage more closely thinking that we might actually have a chance to make it on one tank. The closer we got the more excited I became I was watching a miracle and I knew it. It is one thing to look back at a miracle and finally see it, but quite another to see it while it is taking place. When we finally pulled into my parent’s driveway I still had a quarter of a tank. I was blown away. But God did not stop there.
Because of the funeral there were quite a few people in town so we made arrangements stay at a friends house. So, after letting my dad know that we were in town safely, we got back in the car and headed over our friends house. When I looked at the gas gauge I noticed it had risen about an eighth of a tank. I got excited all over again. The next morning the same thing happened. In all, the quarter tank that we had when we got into town lasted two full days and we did a good share of driving on it. My brother-in-law gave us a gift of $60.00, which helped with some meals while we were there. For that, we were very grateful
We bought one tank of gas while we were in town and one more for the return trip. The van was loaded down with things we were bringing home to the point that we had to put a good amount on the roof. With that in mind I did not expect to get the same gas mileage on the return trip, and the gas mileage counter on the van agreed but we pulled into our driveway with a quarter tank left.
Praise God.
Friday, January 06, 2006
It is that time again...
Dear Friends,
My mind has been nagging me to get this letter written. I do long to share with you all that goes on here. Unfortunately, I tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to sharing my thoughts. So, getting things down on paper is sometimes harder then I think it should be.
I have wanted for some time now to share with you something from other areas of the ministry. What I do is only a small part of what goes on at Amor. Jon Wilson, one of the field staff in Tiajuana, has allowed me to share his thoughts with you. While he holds the same position as I do, I felt that what he had to say was very moving. It is a great reminder that even though we are working to bring God’s kingdom to the people of Mexico, the people of Mexico are bringing His kingdom to us.
"And More On That...
Last week I wrote about our material delivery in Puerto Peñasco. At the end of the post, I briefly alluded to the interaction with families during that part of the trip as the first time the
families are assured their hopes of receiving a home would be realized. Then I chickened out by saying I would write more on that later. Well, I guess this is later.
In the lunchroom/wharehouse area of the Amor Ministries office is a large poster of a former trip participant in the embrace of a young Mexican child. If any of you have been around this ministry, been on mission trips with us, or received mailings from us, you have seen the photo. We use it a ton. In the upper right corner of this particular poster is added one of the Amor slogans, which reads, "Hope is a cement floor. Hope is four strong walls. Hope is a roof that doesn’t leak." Altogether, it is a nice and evocative piece of advertising.
Unfortunately, I tend to be a scoffer. Not a scoffer in the extremely cynical, pessimistic, why try cuz your efforts are futile sense; but more the sarcastic, side comment to make someone laugh and shake their head at me kind of scoffer. Thus, as such scoffing goes, I would find myself standing near the poster making statements like, "If hope is four strong walls, then why
do we build seven?" or, "If hope is a cement floor, why did we go with the parquet?" or better yet, "Hope must be a cement floor, ‘cause linoleum is hopeless." Yes, I do realize none of these are as funny as they sound in my head. Nothing ever is.
Fortunately, my scoffings with regard to the poster have recently been laid aside. The two weeks we were in Peñasco did it for me. It started during material delivery and continued through the completion of the projects. For the first time in four years I allowed myself to see the physical change in people who are being blessed. When the trucks rolled up in front of
the families and the first boards were taken down and placed in neat stacks on the ground in front of them, I could actually see people lifted from the inside-out. Behind tears I saw a spark. In sighs of relief I heard prayers of thanksgiving. We hadn’t even started yet.
As the week rolled by and groups arrived and began construction, the changes were magnified and multiplied. One mother walked slowly around with a sad downcast face that all too well displayed the hardships of her life. When the group arrived to begin construction, one woman participant immediately noticed the pain in her face, approached her and gave her a big hug. By the last day, she could do nothing but smile and laugh. There was a quickness in her step that had not been there a few days before. She would readily jump in to help in the building of her new house. A softness began to show on her face. And there was something in her eyes....dare I say it was hope?
I don’t think the actual definition of hope is anything as tangible as cement floors, strong walls, and a roof that doesn’t leak. And I’m not going to look it up. I do think however (and by think I mean KNOW), that a mother who can sweep her floor and find something under the sand (besides more sand), who doesn’t have to worry if her house will collapse in a strong wind, who knows her children will be dry in the next rainstorm, she can think about something else
for a change.... maybe even the future." - Jon Wilson
Sometimes it is easy to forget what we are doing. I often find myself pondering the questions I am so frequently asked about Amor. In general, most ask about the evangelical value of our ministry. (In other words they feel we need to preach not build). I admit there are days that I wonder if I am making a difference. Are people really getting to see Jesus? Those days are generally days that I forget to take the time to look into the eyes of those whom we serve. It is in those eyes that I see the answer. If when we feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and quench the thirsty, we do these things to Jesus himself, so if we build a home are we not building a home for Him? It is a powerful ministry when people come together to build the hope Jon speaks of. I stand ashamed of the days I doubt that power. Puerto Peñasco was a great time of affirmation to me as well, because not only are those we build for affected, but also sometimes people who have little connection with the ministry itself.
Kevin King and his wife Nona were members of our small group bible study, before we left for El Paso, TX. He and the other members of our group watched as Jackie and I changed following our first mission trip. He got a first hand view of the struggle we went through following our second mission trip when we became aware of God calling. (Was this something we really wanted to do?) That was the point in my life that I finally stopped fighting with God and told him that what ever he asked, I would do. You would think that is where the struggle ends. Fortunately, it was not. I had no Idea what I was doing or getting myself into. I went about things backwards, first talking with ministries (and deciding for Amor) and then going to the church. (Not at all a good Idea)
So there I go into the church, expecting them to send me because I was so set on serving God. The church was kind, but not knowing me, they didn’t really respond as soon as would have hoped. Adding to that Amor had a new human resource person who was handling my entrance, and communication broke down between the three parties. I am positive now that my part should have been much larger but at the time I did not see it.
I was set to begin in El Paso by January so that I could be trained for the spring. So acting on faith, knowing I did not have the support I needed, I quit my job and came to find a place to live In El Paso. It was there I learn that both the church and Amor had some serious reservations about me coming when I did. Amor had failed to tell me that I was required to raise a certain percent of support before coming. And the church told Amor about their reservations of not really knowing me, but this also failed to reach me until I had already quit my job and started looking for a place to live. Talk about panic setting in. (God is this not what you asked me to do or was it all my idea?)
I came home to talk with the church and we agreed to wait six months before coming. So, left without a job or a place to live we tried to settle back in. It took a while but God took care of us getting me two jobs to cover our expenses and an understanding landlord who allowed us to stay past our lease. All the while our small group stood by and watched and prayed for us. Obviously, we did arrive in El Paso, and the experience proved to be a great faith builder for me. But, unknown to me was how it affected Kevin. I recently found out in Puerto Peñasco.
I was surprised to see him there walking across the sandy bit of cleared desert we call camp. He almost passed me by, but I was not about to let that happen. He had come on the trip to take photos for the church. The whole trip would have been worth it just seeing that one person. Although, I was blessed to see more then a few familiar faces, and what Kevin shared with me made any struggle I went though getting here worth every minute.
He told me that when we made our decision to become missionaries that he remembers telling his wife that he would never do what we were doing. The idea of going to a foreign country to sweat away at building houses for anyone was something he feared God might ask of him, and he was not about to agree to that. But he lost a secure job, and went in on a business venture with an unreliable partner that never left the ground. He was sinking deeper and deeper, and could feel the pressure mounting. He told me that he wanted to turn it over to God, but he just could not bring himself to do it, because of that fear of God asking something of him that he did not want to do. But through watching our struggle God worked on his heart and he was able to finally break down and surrender his will to God, and ask God what He wanted from him.
Since then God has awaked a desire in him to work in photography and given him a booming wedding photography business. God has placed him in numerous positions to share his story with others, and he just wanted to take the time to thank me for my faith. I am so thankful that anything I went through could help another. I had no idea that God used me then. (It is amazing to me that I did not ruin the witness considering all the frustration I felt.) Four years have past now and knowing what I now know, I could not be more thankful for that time of struggle and frustration.
My mind has been nagging me to get this letter written. I do long to share with you all that goes on here. Unfortunately, I tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to sharing my thoughts. So, getting things down on paper is sometimes harder then I think it should be.
I have wanted for some time now to share with you something from other areas of the ministry. What I do is only a small part of what goes on at Amor. Jon Wilson, one of the field staff in Tiajuana, has allowed me to share his thoughts with you. While he holds the same position as I do, I felt that what he had to say was very moving. It is a great reminder that even though we are working to bring God’s kingdom to the people of Mexico, the people of Mexico are bringing His kingdom to us.
"And More On That...
Last week I wrote about our material delivery in Puerto Peñasco. At the end of the post, I briefly alluded to the interaction with families during that part of the trip as the first time the
families are assured their hopes of receiving a home would be realized. Then I chickened out by saying I would write more on that later. Well, I guess this is later.
In the lunchroom/wharehouse area of the Amor Ministries office is a large poster of a former trip participant in the embrace of a young Mexican child. If any of you have been around this ministry, been on mission trips with us, or received mailings from us, you have seen the photo. We use it a ton. In the upper right corner of this particular poster is added one of the Amor slogans, which reads, "Hope is a cement floor. Hope is four strong walls. Hope is a roof that doesn’t leak." Altogether, it is a nice and evocative piece of advertising.
Unfortunately, I tend to be a scoffer. Not a scoffer in the extremely cynical, pessimistic, why try cuz your efforts are futile sense; but more the sarcastic, side comment to make someone laugh and shake their head at me kind of scoffer. Thus, as such scoffing goes, I would find myself standing near the poster making statements like, "If hope is four strong walls, then why
do we build seven?" or, "If hope is a cement floor, why did we go with the parquet?" or better yet, "Hope must be a cement floor, ‘cause linoleum is hopeless." Yes, I do realize none of these are as funny as they sound in my head. Nothing ever is.
Fortunately, my scoffings with regard to the poster have recently been laid aside. The two weeks we were in Peñasco did it for me. It started during material delivery and continued through the completion of the projects. For the first time in four years I allowed myself to see the physical change in people who are being blessed. When the trucks rolled up in front of
the families and the first boards were taken down and placed in neat stacks on the ground in front of them, I could actually see people lifted from the inside-out. Behind tears I saw a spark. In sighs of relief I heard prayers of thanksgiving. We hadn’t even started yet.
As the week rolled by and groups arrived and began construction, the changes were magnified and multiplied. One mother walked slowly around with a sad downcast face that all too well displayed the hardships of her life. When the group arrived to begin construction, one woman participant immediately noticed the pain in her face, approached her and gave her a big hug. By the last day, she could do nothing but smile and laugh. There was a quickness in her step that had not been there a few days before. She would readily jump in to help in the building of her new house. A softness began to show on her face. And there was something in her eyes....dare I say it was hope?
I don’t think the actual definition of hope is anything as tangible as cement floors, strong walls, and a roof that doesn’t leak. And I’m not going to look it up. I do think however (and by think I mean KNOW), that a mother who can sweep her floor and find something under the sand (besides more sand), who doesn’t have to worry if her house will collapse in a strong wind, who knows her children will be dry in the next rainstorm, she can think about something else
for a change.... maybe even the future." - Jon Wilson
Sometimes it is easy to forget what we are doing. I often find myself pondering the questions I am so frequently asked about Amor. In general, most ask about the evangelical value of our ministry. (In other words they feel we need to preach not build). I admit there are days that I wonder if I am making a difference. Are people really getting to see Jesus? Those days are generally days that I forget to take the time to look into the eyes of those whom we serve. It is in those eyes that I see the answer. If when we feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and quench the thirsty, we do these things to Jesus himself, so if we build a home are we not building a home for Him? It is a powerful ministry when people come together to build the hope Jon speaks of. I stand ashamed of the days I doubt that power. Puerto Peñasco was a great time of affirmation to me as well, because not only are those we build for affected, but also sometimes people who have little connection with the ministry itself.
Kevin King and his wife Nona were members of our small group bible study, before we left for El Paso, TX. He and the other members of our group watched as Jackie and I changed following our first mission trip. He got a first hand view of the struggle we went through following our second mission trip when we became aware of God calling. (Was this something we really wanted to do?) That was the point in my life that I finally stopped fighting with God and told him that what ever he asked, I would do. You would think that is where the struggle ends. Fortunately, it was not. I had no Idea what I was doing or getting myself into. I went about things backwards, first talking with ministries (and deciding for Amor) and then going to the church. (Not at all a good Idea)
So there I go into the church, expecting them to send me because I was so set on serving God. The church was kind, but not knowing me, they didn’t really respond as soon as would have hoped. Adding to that Amor had a new human resource person who was handling my entrance, and communication broke down between the three parties. I am positive now that my part should have been much larger but at the time I did not see it.
I was set to begin in El Paso by January so that I could be trained for the spring. So acting on faith, knowing I did not have the support I needed, I quit my job and came to find a place to live In El Paso. It was there I learn that both the church and Amor had some serious reservations about me coming when I did. Amor had failed to tell me that I was required to raise a certain percent of support before coming. And the church told Amor about their reservations of not really knowing me, but this also failed to reach me until I had already quit my job and started looking for a place to live. Talk about panic setting in. (God is this not what you asked me to do or was it all my idea?)
I came home to talk with the church and we agreed to wait six months before coming. So, left without a job or a place to live we tried to settle back in. It took a while but God took care of us getting me two jobs to cover our expenses and an understanding landlord who allowed us to stay past our lease. All the while our small group stood by and watched and prayed for us. Obviously, we did arrive in El Paso, and the experience proved to be a great faith builder for me. But, unknown to me was how it affected Kevin. I recently found out in Puerto Peñasco.
I was surprised to see him there walking across the sandy bit of cleared desert we call camp. He almost passed me by, but I was not about to let that happen. He had come on the trip to take photos for the church. The whole trip would have been worth it just seeing that one person. Although, I was blessed to see more then a few familiar faces, and what Kevin shared with me made any struggle I went though getting here worth every minute.
He told me that when we made our decision to become missionaries that he remembers telling his wife that he would never do what we were doing. The idea of going to a foreign country to sweat away at building houses for anyone was something he feared God might ask of him, and he was not about to agree to that. But he lost a secure job, and went in on a business venture with an unreliable partner that never left the ground. He was sinking deeper and deeper, and could feel the pressure mounting. He told me that he wanted to turn it over to God, but he just could not bring himself to do it, because of that fear of God asking something of him that he did not want to do. But through watching our struggle God worked on his heart and he was able to finally break down and surrender his will to God, and ask God what He wanted from him.
Since then God has awaked a desire in him to work in photography and given him a booming wedding photography business. God has placed him in numerous positions to share his story with others, and he just wanted to take the time to thank me for my faith. I am so thankful that anything I went through could help another. I had no idea that God used me then. (It is amazing to me that I did not ruin the witness considering all the frustration I felt.) Four years have past now and knowing what I now know, I could not be more thankful for that time of struggle and frustration.
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